To 1L's from an Upperclassman
Sam Thomason
Issue date: 1/26/10 Section: Features
Greetings once again, fellow seeker of jurisprudential knowledge. If you are reading this most recent missive of mine, then know that you have survived your first semester of law school. This is an important milestone; not only have you mastered the skills necessary to survive law school and embark upon a career in our most noble and august profession, but it also permits me, a distinguished upperclassman, to share with you several secrets that only veteran seekers of the law are permitted to know.
The first truth is the most solemn and sacred of all truths. So significant is it that I must demand that you swear yourselves to secrecy upon the every casebook contained within the hallowed halls of our library.
Now that you have ennobled yourself through the swearing of this ineffable and unbreakable oath, let me reveal this most unknowable of secrets: the Constitution is a lie. This revelation, however shocking, is almost certainly true. What does the Constitution mean? Whatever the Supreme Court says that it means. Consider how often the Constitution the does not speak to the subject at hand and that instead the Court conjures up its own reasoning out of necessity. Or in other situations, how often does the Supreme Court look to its own cases rather than the Constitution to settle an issue? Far more often than the lay person would dare to believe! When the Supreme Court relies on interpreting its own statements to determine whether or not a given law or action is permitted by the Constitution, the Supreme Court has become the Constitution. President Roosevelt's court-packing plan provides the most telling example, as a simple threat to the Court enabled it to find that certain actions it had previously rejected were Constitutional all along! Read dissenting opinions in 5-4 cases and feel the chill that runs down your spine as you realize that a few seats changing parties during a Congressional election is all it would have taken to radically alter what the Supreme Court says the Constitution means. It is therefore clear that the Constitution has no fixed meaning whatsoever and means exactly what five or more Supreme Court justices say that it means.
Despite all this, the Constitution does have a purpose. Indeed, if the Constitution did not exist, it would be necessary for man to invent it. For the Constitution is the opiate of the masses. When non-lawyers seek to understand how our legal system works, it is far easier to tell them that the Constitution means something than to admit the truth that the meaning of the Constitution is a game of inches where any outcome is possible in any given case.
Your Obed't Servant,
An Upperclassman
The first truth is the most solemn and sacred of all truths. So significant is it that I must demand that you swear yourselves to secrecy upon the every casebook contained within the hallowed halls of our library.
Now that you have ennobled yourself through the swearing of this ineffable and unbreakable oath, let me reveal this most unknowable of secrets: the Constitution is a lie. This revelation, however shocking, is almost certainly true. What does the Constitution mean? Whatever the Supreme Court says that it means. Consider how often the Constitution the does not speak to the subject at hand and that instead the Court conjures up its own reasoning out of necessity. Or in other situations, how often does the Supreme Court look to its own cases rather than the Constitution to settle an issue? Far more often than the lay person would dare to believe! When the Supreme Court relies on interpreting its own statements to determine whether or not a given law or action is permitted by the Constitution, the Supreme Court has become the Constitution. President Roosevelt's court-packing plan provides the most telling example, as a simple threat to the Court enabled it to find that certain actions it had previously rejected were Constitutional all along! Read dissenting opinions in 5-4 cases and feel the chill that runs down your spine as you realize that a few seats changing parties during a Congressional election is all it would have taken to radically alter what the Supreme Court says the Constitution means. It is therefore clear that the Constitution has no fixed meaning whatsoever and means exactly what five or more Supreme Court justices say that it means.
Despite all this, the Constitution does have a purpose. Indeed, if the Constitution did not exist, it would be necessary for man to invent it. For the Constitution is the opiate of the masses. When non-lawyers seek to understand how our legal system works, it is far easier to tell them that the Constitution means something than to admit the truth that the meaning of the Constitution is a game of inches where any outcome is possible in any given case.
Your Obed't Servant,
An Upperclassman
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